Grr...sick rant

If you've ever come across me when I'm sick, you know that I'm not myself at all. I'm either usually vicious or just completely zoned out. That's because while I'm sick, I'm not a human. I am living on my instincts in a primal state, where anyone who tries to approach me will be angrily yelled at, saracastically berated, or driven away by the force of my extreme apathy. The reason for this is that I hate being sick. Everything about being sick makes me so angry. I hate stuffed up and runny noses. I hate sore throats. I hate headaches and hurting ears. I hate eyes that feel like so swollen that they're gonna pop out of my head. I hate feeling useless and unproductive. I hate having to swallow tons of synthetic chemicals or homeopathic remedies my mother cooks in her teapot, both of which are supposed to make me feel better but never really do. I hate piles of tissues. I hate feeling useless and unproductive. I hate not being able to focus. I hate that even playing the piano, my favorite thing to do, is hard when I'm sick. I hate that I can't taste the lasangna I'm having for dinner. I hate lying in bed not able to sleep because I'm so uncomfortable because I'm sick. I hate being sick so much I make myself more sick by hating sickness so much. So, there are two possible manifestations of all this hate and rage. First, I could just show my anger and be mean to everyone. This usually happens when I'm really tired and sick or sick at an inconvenient time, which is usually all the time.  Second, I could just stop caring because I'm so mad and sit there in a daze. This only happens when I'm really, really sick. All this to say, when I'm sick, please forgive me. I know not what I do. In fact, after I'm done being sick, I will often look back on things I did and apologize, because I know that I was not myself. I had better get better tomorrow.