My brothers are watching Star Trek in the living room, and because they are watching Star Trek in the living room, I cannot play my piano. Ugh. So I'm writing instead. Last Friday night was pretty excellent. Instead of dancing on table tops and taking too many shots per Katy Perry (I love that song, it's so catchy), I ate some amazing ribs with some fantastic people and then had some similarly fantastic conversations about deep things related to religion and politics. These conversations involved questions about faith, and they kinda left me questioning some things, some basic things that I know but often take for granted. Since I'm using this summer to get back to my faith and my foundation, I've been thinking...as usual...and these are my thoughts. I'm not trying to preach. This is a note. These are my thoughts.
I didn't really think about this before, but I've realized now that there is not usually an immediate physical, concrete consequence for doing bad things, for sinning. But then what is sinning? Just doing wrong things? Wrong is so subjective. I believe that sinning is doing anything that disobeys the 10 Commandments, God's law. I'm pretty sure that basically every possibly wrong doing falls under these 10 absolute laws.
Commandment 1
"You must not have any other god but me.
Commandment 2
"You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. "
Commandment 3
"You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God."
Commandment 4
"Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."
Commandment 5
1 "Honor your father and mother. "
Commandment 6
"You must not murder.
Commandment 7
"You must not commit adultery.
Commandment 8
"You must not steal.
Commandment 9
"You must not lie.
Commandment 10
"You must not covet."
Just take a second and think about all the things that are implied under each one of these commandments. Take the first and second ones, for instance. No other god but God. No idols. OK, so that means I must not worship anything, lust after anything, search for anything, live for anything more than God. God must be my end all and be all. He is it. And how many times have I broken that one? Ridiculous. Honoring your father and mother-I think of all the times I've done things my parents taught me not to do, disobeyed them...so ridiculous. All the times, I've lied, been jealous of someone, murdered someone, committed adultery...again, ridiculous. Side Note: I haven't physically murdered anyone or committed adultery, but Jesus says in Matthew that if someone even thinks about doing any of those things, that person is already as guilty as someone who did them because his or her heart and soul has already given in to the idea of murder or adultery or anything like that. I believe this is true because in the end, I believe it's my soul that's going to last forever, not my body. Just because I haven't physically murdered a specific person doesn't mean I haven't murdered that person in my heart, and I'm as guilty as the person who has. So, to be brutally honest, I'm guilty of breaking all ten of these commandments. The Bible says that everyone is guilty too. No one is truly a good and perfect person (except for Jesus but he comes later).
Now, back to no immediate consequences. Yes, that's usually true. God does not smite me down when I lie to my parents about where I was two nights ago (I was at home two nights ago, in case anyone wondered...) As I've looked at the Bible this past week, I see that sin is not about the immediate consequences. It's about the eternal consequences. Romans 6:23a "For the wages of sin is death." A spiritual death. If I sin, I will go to hell. And that's it. The Bible says in the Old and New Testament that God is so holy that He cannot even permit anything sinful in His presence. He is perfect in every way and pure. Sin literally cannot exist in His presence. So if I have sinned, I cannot be with Him. When I die, my soul will go to hell, because heaven is where God's holiness is and I cannot live there. And that goes for every sin. If I look at the text of the 10 Commandments, I don't see any asterisks pointing to footnotes at the bottom, saying "This rule is only slightly important, so yo can break it once and awhile" or "Murder is worse than disobeying your parents." Nope. That's not there. Every sin is equal in God's eyes. And that's a really, REALLY hard concept for me. Especially when I look at the world and the terrible things people do. I want to think that some people have done such things that they deserve hell automatically while people I know who have never done things so terrible should just be allowed in heaven because they didn't do those things. That's not what God says thought, but this is where Jesus comes in! YAY!
See, I love Christmas. I love the presents. I love the lights. I love the food. I LOVE the music ( I'm so glad I'll still be in Chicago this year so I can listen to 93.9) For most people, Christmas is a few weeks, and then it's over. I get to enjoy the benefits of Christmas all year, and not just because I usually get awesome gifts haha. I enjoy it all year because Christmas is when God sent Jesus to earth for me. Yes, I said for me, but for you too. And every one in the world who's ever lived. His love for you, me, and everyone is boundless, and it has been since the beginning of time. Sin and Satan got in the way of His love in the Garden of Eden, because God can't be with sin, but then God hatched this awesome, but sad plan. He would send His only Son to die for humankind so they cold be with Him always, no sin in the way.I won't get into the "fully God, fully man" thing, but the point is: Jesus was God's Son. God sent Jesus to earth, Jesus lived a perfect life, He suffered the penalty for everyone's sins by dying a brutal, awful death on the cross though He didn't commit any sin himself, then he conquered death by rising again after he'd been dead three days (and that's where we get Easter. I love the candy, but that's not what it's about haha) What's the benefit for me and you? Well, since He died and rose again, the penalty of death that comes with my sin can be removed if I put our trust in Him. Meaning I say "Jesus, I'm guilty of sinning, of breaking God's law. I confess that sin to you, and I accept you as my Savior, trusting you to remove that sin and make me right with God."
And that's it. No more death penalty. No more hell. As long as I've put my faith in Jesus, I am going to heaven. Romans 6:23b "But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Also, as an added bonus, the Holy Spirit enters my heart. The Bible says the Holy Spirit is part of God, the Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and it's kinda like the Guide God gives us, a divine conscience, prompting me to do what's right and allowing me to understand things about my faith that I couldn't on my own. So, I get this amazing gift of eternal life and a Guide through life, and there aren't too many strings attached. In fact, I can only think of one. And it's not even really a string. More like something I really want to do.
The problem is, with accepting Jesus as my Savior and receiving the Holy Spirit, I've admitted that I sin, that I do wrong and I now have an deeper understanding of what God says is right and what is wrong. By reading the Bible and seeing what God expects of those who know Him, I understand. There are absolute goods and bad. There's no gray areas. Bad is bad. Good is good. And God loves the things that are good and detest the bad things. And now that I know what things and actions God loves, I want to do it. I really do. And so I follow a standard of values set by God.
No one told me when I accepted Christ that I would have to do and not do certain things and behave a certain way. I was 5 and I was sitting on my bed with my mom and I asked her if I could ask Jesus into my heart to take away my sin. I don't remember much about it. She probably asked me if I was sure,but I know for certain that she didn't say " Now, honey, before you do this, you should know the rules," and then spout a list of moral standards I was supposed to uphold and things I was expected to avoid if I put my faith in Jesus. No, she simply told me what to pray and then I simply prayed that prayer and went to sleep. But that prayer changed my life.
Since I now know what God says is good, I want to do that good. I want serve Him, glorify Him, and tell the world how awesome He is. I want my life to reflect the kind of the love that would send an only son to die a brutal death, an all encompassing, pure, unconditional, wonderful love. He give me so many gifts: eternal life, the ability to talk with Him by praying whenever and wherever, comfort in times of trouble, constant companionship, a community of other Christians who love and support me as soon as they meet me because they know of God's love, and of course of life and so many more things I can't even name! How can I not desire worship Him and follow Him and want to live for Him? I'm not just crazy. I truly believe this with all my heart, that God loves me, that Jesus has taken away my sin, and so now I want to live for God. Not only that, but when I accept Jesus as my Savior, that does put me literally in His debt, and I become, as Paul says, a slave for Christ. I now owe Him my life, and because of that, He demands my life in return. I know that sounds harsh, but think of what I get in return! I get a relationship with a Heavenly Father who loves me more than anyone ever could and I get eternal life in Heaven, as well as lots of other gifts including the Holy Spirit and immediate love from a community of believers etc :)
Now, if you'd made it this far in the note, thank you. I swear I'm not asking for trouble. These are my beliefs. Anyway, I want to live for God because He commands me to and because I want to. And according to the Bible, if you profess to be a Christian, you will want to as well. The life you will seek after is a life of service, a life of love, a life where other people come before yourself, where judgmental nature is avoided, where forgiveness is given again and again and again, where glorifying God is first. This is the life I want, and I will be the first person to say that it's not the life I lead all the time, if at all. On rare, RARE occasions, it's close, but never the ideal. And that's because, though I've accepted Jesus, I'm not perfect and never will be. In fact, I've made my life a million times harder by accepting Jesus. Oh yes. Christians' lives are not always happy and everything is not magically good because I know Jesus. In fact, sometimes it's worse for a couple reasons.
First, because I know the difference between right and wrong in God's eyes, I know what is really sin. So I struggle and struggle not to sin. I even ask God to help me not to sin, but I do sometimes. In fact, a lot. So when I sin, I'm filled with sadness, because I've just disobeyed the God of the Universe who loves me more than anything and I've let Him down and not accurately reflected how great He is. This happens a lot. The wonderful thing is that Jesus still provides forgiveness and cleanliness from that sin, so that sadness doesn't last. But then when I sin again, it comes back, and then Jesus is still there, but then I sin again...etc. The Apostle Paul says in the Bible (in more eloquent terms) that he always finds himself doing what he doesn't want to do and not doing what he does want to do. That's the life of a Christian. It's not easy, and often, I get bogged down in shame and guilt because of this, but as long as I remember that Jesus forgives us, there is no need for that. Though, that doesn't mean that my sin is any less of a sin because Jesus forgives me. Again, no asterisk under the 10 Commandments says "When you accept Jesus, you can now sin and not worry about it." If I've truly accepted Jesus, I will want to live for him and I will worry about sinning.
Second, lessons are harder and life is more complicated and more simple at the same time. When you're living for God, that sounds pretty simple, but as demonstrated by the 10 commandments, there's a whole lot that runs under that statement. There's a lot of love involved there. Love for God and love for everyone. And as everyone is aware, love implies A LOT. Self sacrifice, trust, faith, loyalty, etc etc etc. I've spent four years wallowing in lessons about love, and though I haven't had any real physical trauma (besides inflamed eyes from crying), the emotional and spiritual aspect of it all has been intense and awful. I've hated it. Yet I've learned so much and seen how I can glorify God more with my life! But, I've hated it.
Third, there is no road map. God gave Christians the Holy Spirit as a Guide and the Bible as well and the community of believers to help too. But it's hard to know what is the Holy Spirit and what's my imagination, and it's also hard to read the Bible and truly apply it and since every person is unique and of course, flawed, advice from other voices may not be applicable to me or even correct. Side Note: About applying the Bible, I don't think I can just read it and apply it literally in every situation and with every book of the Bible. If you want to discuss that with me at a different time, feel free haha :)
Now, I'm trying not to scare people away, but I can see how this would scare people away. I almost wish sometimes my mom had told me what a big commitment it was before I decided to become a Christian. And it is. Because I truly believe in God with all my heart. I believe that I'm saved through my faith in Jesus Christ. And now, because I believe that, I believe that I should do what God says to do. It's not easy. But, for me, it's worth it, not only because of what God gives me but because I have a purpose in life. How many people go through life without a purpose? A reason for living that's greater than the moment, greater than just today. I have a purpose, and that's to glorify God and serve Him and show other people how good He is. And how they can come to know His love. So, thanks for reading this haha. I hope no one feels shamed by me or anything. Not my intent at all. I like to talk about my faith, and I don't do it enough.
I didn't really think about this before, but I've realized now that there is not usually an immediate physical, concrete consequence for doing bad things, for sinning. But then what is sinning? Just doing wrong things? Wrong is so subjective. I believe that sinning is doing anything that disobeys the 10 Commandments, God's law. I'm pretty sure that basically every possibly wrong doing falls under these 10 absolute laws.
Commandment 1
"You must not have any other god but me.
Commandment 2
"You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. "
Commandment 3
"You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God."
Commandment 4
"Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."
Commandment 5
1 "Honor your father and mother. "
Commandment 6
"You must not murder.
Commandment 7
"You must not commit adultery.
Commandment 8
"You must not steal.
Commandment 9
"You must not lie.
Commandment 10
"You must not covet."
Just take a second and think about all the things that are implied under each one of these commandments. Take the first and second ones, for instance. No other god but God. No idols. OK, so that means I must not worship anything, lust after anything, search for anything, live for anything more than God. God must be my end all and be all. He is it. And how many times have I broken that one? Ridiculous. Honoring your father and mother-I think of all the times I've done things my parents taught me not to do, disobeyed them...so ridiculous. All the times, I've lied, been jealous of someone, murdered someone, committed adultery...again, ridiculous. Side Note: I haven't physically murdered anyone or committed adultery, but Jesus says in Matthew that if someone even thinks about doing any of those things, that person is already as guilty as someone who did them because his or her heart and soul has already given in to the idea of murder or adultery or anything like that. I believe this is true because in the end, I believe it's my soul that's going to last forever, not my body. Just because I haven't physically murdered a specific person doesn't mean I haven't murdered that person in my heart, and I'm as guilty as the person who has. So, to be brutally honest, I'm guilty of breaking all ten of these commandments. The Bible says that everyone is guilty too. No one is truly a good and perfect person (except for Jesus but he comes later).
Now, back to no immediate consequences. Yes, that's usually true. God does not smite me down when I lie to my parents about where I was two nights ago (I was at home two nights ago, in case anyone wondered...) As I've looked at the Bible this past week, I see that sin is not about the immediate consequences. It's about the eternal consequences. Romans 6:23a "For the wages of sin is death." A spiritual death. If I sin, I will go to hell. And that's it. The Bible says in the Old and New Testament that God is so holy that He cannot even permit anything sinful in His presence. He is perfect in every way and pure. Sin literally cannot exist in His presence. So if I have sinned, I cannot be with Him. When I die, my soul will go to hell, because heaven is where God's holiness is and I cannot live there. And that goes for every sin. If I look at the text of the 10 Commandments, I don't see any asterisks pointing to footnotes at the bottom, saying "This rule is only slightly important, so yo can break it once and awhile" or "Murder is worse than disobeying your parents." Nope. That's not there. Every sin is equal in God's eyes. And that's a really, REALLY hard concept for me. Especially when I look at the world and the terrible things people do. I want to think that some people have done such things that they deserve hell automatically while people I know who have never done things so terrible should just be allowed in heaven because they didn't do those things. That's not what God says thought, but this is where Jesus comes in! YAY!
See, I love Christmas. I love the presents. I love the lights. I love the food. I LOVE the music ( I'm so glad I'll still be in Chicago this year so I can listen to 93.9) For most people, Christmas is a few weeks, and then it's over. I get to enjoy the benefits of Christmas all year, and not just because I usually get awesome gifts haha. I enjoy it all year because Christmas is when God sent Jesus to earth for me. Yes, I said for me, but for you too. And every one in the world who's ever lived. His love for you, me, and everyone is boundless, and it has been since the beginning of time. Sin and Satan got in the way of His love in the Garden of Eden, because God can't be with sin, but then God hatched this awesome, but sad plan. He would send His only Son to die for humankind so they cold be with Him always, no sin in the way.I won't get into the "fully God, fully man" thing, but the point is: Jesus was God's Son. God sent Jesus to earth, Jesus lived a perfect life, He suffered the penalty for everyone's sins by dying a brutal, awful death on the cross though He didn't commit any sin himself, then he conquered death by rising again after he'd been dead three days (and that's where we get Easter. I love the candy, but that's not what it's about haha) What's the benefit for me and you? Well, since He died and rose again, the penalty of death that comes with my sin can be removed if I put our trust in Him. Meaning I say "Jesus, I'm guilty of sinning, of breaking God's law. I confess that sin to you, and I accept you as my Savior, trusting you to remove that sin and make me right with God."
And that's it. No more death penalty. No more hell. As long as I've put my faith in Jesus, I am going to heaven. Romans 6:23b "But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Also, as an added bonus, the Holy Spirit enters my heart. The Bible says the Holy Spirit is part of God, the Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and it's kinda like the Guide God gives us, a divine conscience, prompting me to do what's right and allowing me to understand things about my faith that I couldn't on my own. So, I get this amazing gift of eternal life and a Guide through life, and there aren't too many strings attached. In fact, I can only think of one. And it's not even really a string. More like something I really want to do.
The problem is, with accepting Jesus as my Savior and receiving the Holy Spirit, I've admitted that I sin, that I do wrong and I now have an deeper understanding of what God says is right and what is wrong. By reading the Bible and seeing what God expects of those who know Him, I understand. There are absolute goods and bad. There's no gray areas. Bad is bad. Good is good. And God loves the things that are good and detest the bad things. And now that I know what things and actions God loves, I want to do it. I really do. And so I follow a standard of values set by God.
No one told me when I accepted Christ that I would have to do and not do certain things and behave a certain way. I was 5 and I was sitting on my bed with my mom and I asked her if I could ask Jesus into my heart to take away my sin. I don't remember much about it. She probably asked me if I was sure,but I know for certain that she didn't say " Now, honey, before you do this, you should know the rules," and then spout a list of moral standards I was supposed to uphold and things I was expected to avoid if I put my faith in Jesus. No, she simply told me what to pray and then I simply prayed that prayer and went to sleep. But that prayer changed my life.
Since I now know what God says is good, I want to do that good. I want serve Him, glorify Him, and tell the world how awesome He is. I want my life to reflect the kind of the love that would send an only son to die a brutal death, an all encompassing, pure, unconditional, wonderful love. He give me so many gifts: eternal life, the ability to talk with Him by praying whenever and wherever, comfort in times of trouble, constant companionship, a community of other Christians who love and support me as soon as they meet me because they know of God's love, and of course of life and so many more things I can't even name! How can I not desire worship Him and follow Him and want to live for Him? I'm not just crazy. I truly believe this with all my heart, that God loves me, that Jesus has taken away my sin, and so now I want to live for God. Not only that, but when I accept Jesus as my Savior, that does put me literally in His debt, and I become, as Paul says, a slave for Christ. I now owe Him my life, and because of that, He demands my life in return. I know that sounds harsh, but think of what I get in return! I get a relationship with a Heavenly Father who loves me more than anyone ever could and I get eternal life in Heaven, as well as lots of other gifts including the Holy Spirit and immediate love from a community of believers etc :)
Now, if you'd made it this far in the note, thank you. I swear I'm not asking for trouble. These are my beliefs. Anyway, I want to live for God because He commands me to and because I want to. And according to the Bible, if you profess to be a Christian, you will want to as well. The life you will seek after is a life of service, a life of love, a life where other people come before yourself, where judgmental nature is avoided, where forgiveness is given again and again and again, where glorifying God is first. This is the life I want, and I will be the first person to say that it's not the life I lead all the time, if at all. On rare, RARE occasions, it's close, but never the ideal. And that's because, though I've accepted Jesus, I'm not perfect and never will be. In fact, I've made my life a million times harder by accepting Jesus. Oh yes. Christians' lives are not always happy and everything is not magically good because I know Jesus. In fact, sometimes it's worse for a couple reasons.
First, because I know the difference between right and wrong in God's eyes, I know what is really sin. So I struggle and struggle not to sin. I even ask God to help me not to sin, but I do sometimes. In fact, a lot. So when I sin, I'm filled with sadness, because I've just disobeyed the God of the Universe who loves me more than anything and I've let Him down and not accurately reflected how great He is. This happens a lot. The wonderful thing is that Jesus still provides forgiveness and cleanliness from that sin, so that sadness doesn't last. But then when I sin again, it comes back, and then Jesus is still there, but then I sin again...etc. The Apostle Paul says in the Bible (in more eloquent terms) that he always finds himself doing what he doesn't want to do and not doing what he does want to do. That's the life of a Christian. It's not easy, and often, I get bogged down in shame and guilt because of this, but as long as I remember that Jesus forgives us, there is no need for that. Though, that doesn't mean that my sin is any less of a sin because Jesus forgives me. Again, no asterisk under the 10 Commandments says "When you accept Jesus, you can now sin and not worry about it." If I've truly accepted Jesus, I will want to live for him and I will worry about sinning.
Second, lessons are harder and life is more complicated and more simple at the same time. When you're living for God, that sounds pretty simple, but as demonstrated by the 10 commandments, there's a whole lot that runs under that statement. There's a lot of love involved there. Love for God and love for everyone. And as everyone is aware, love implies A LOT. Self sacrifice, trust, faith, loyalty, etc etc etc. I've spent four years wallowing in lessons about love, and though I haven't had any real physical trauma (besides inflamed eyes from crying), the emotional and spiritual aspect of it all has been intense and awful. I've hated it. Yet I've learned so much and seen how I can glorify God more with my life! But, I've hated it.
Third, there is no road map. God gave Christians the Holy Spirit as a Guide and the Bible as well and the community of believers to help too. But it's hard to know what is the Holy Spirit and what's my imagination, and it's also hard to read the Bible and truly apply it and since every person is unique and of course, flawed, advice from other voices may not be applicable to me or even correct. Side Note: About applying the Bible, I don't think I can just read it and apply it literally in every situation and with every book of the Bible. If you want to discuss that with me at a different time, feel free haha :)
Now, I'm trying not to scare people away, but I can see how this would scare people away. I almost wish sometimes my mom had told me what a big commitment it was before I decided to become a Christian. And it is. Because I truly believe in God with all my heart. I believe that I'm saved through my faith in Jesus Christ. And now, because I believe that, I believe that I should do what God says to do. It's not easy. But, for me, it's worth it, not only because of what God gives me but because I have a purpose in life. How many people go through life without a purpose? A reason for living that's greater than the moment, greater than just today. I have a purpose, and that's to glorify God and serve Him and show other people how good He is. And how they can come to know His love. So, thanks for reading this haha. I hope no one feels shamed by me or anything. Not my intent at all. I like to talk about my faith, and I don't do it enough.
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