SHS Theatre Kid Mannerisms and/or Common Phrases

Most of us do at least one if not more of these things. They identify us as a family. Be proud.

• "What?" -When someone says something awkward, if we say anything at all, it will most likely be a confused, laughing, and bewildered "what?"
• Head Scratch-When a situation, person, or phrase is deemed uncomfortable or, again, awkward, our instinct is to reach up and scratch our heads while giving a sideways glance to the person next to us, communicating our mutual discomfort. Usually, the awkward head scratch is following by one of us saying "Ummm" or some similar awkward noise such as the "What?"
• The Fist- When a person has done something that causes an issue, usually a funny or awkward issue, we shake our fists at them. It's not a typical fist shake because instead of the arm shaking the fist, the wrist shakes it in a wobbly fashion. This fist shake is sometimes accompanied by a joking "Darn you, ______."
• "Question Mark?" - We like to grandly and loudly announce our punctuation. Question mark? Exclamation point! Question mark, exclamation point?!
• The Looks-50% of all our conversation consists of looks: those meaning, knowing looks that communicate more than is possible or socially acceptable with words.
• Noises- Ugh. Oh. Hm. Ah. Growl. Sigh. Argh. Meow. Ruff. Rawr. jklasdfuop. uywerkla. snouset. At least 10% of all conversation consists of these and many more random noises.
• Strange Faces-Our faces are extremely expressive and versatile. There are limitless possibilities in regards to the amount and type of strange, communicative faces that we can make.
• Awkward, Strained Laughter- It's usually accompanied by a head scratch, a 'What?",  a look, or a noise.
• Hysterical Laughter-If you get us laughing, I mean, really REALLY laughing, getting us to calm down is not an easy task. In fact, it's nearly impossible.
• Weird Movements and Dances -Enough said. Warning: If you think it could be construed as sexual, it definitely will be. 
• "I feel..."- Used as the beginning or end of a sentence, similar to Yoda. And when we say it, we're usually not saying how we feel, it's most likely an opinion. 
• Judging-Something we all do very well, too well.
• Whispering into Someone's Ear to make Another Person Jealous or Uncomfortable-Yes. 
• Texting Across the Room and/or Table- Yeah.
• Awkward Hugs or Caresses-Yep.
• Breaking Into Song-More popular with some than others
• Excessive Sarcasm- Including but not limited to: complimenting someone excessively in a sarcastic tone, insulting someone excessively in a sarcastic tone, and glorifying yourself in a sarcastic tone.
• Complete Lack of Humility- Basically another way to say we're proud of ourselves.
• Emotional Issues- We are emotional beings. We care A LOT about everything, including each other :)

Why I haven't been able to speak for the past two days...

This week was probably the best week since Bio Boot Camp. I watched Schaumburg on Stage put on a great show in You're a Good Man Charlie Brown-In fact, I saw the show three times! It was so good. Congrats to the five of my friends who were in it :) You guys blew me away with what you did. But, that is not the subject of this note. The subject of this note is Jesus Culture, a three day conference I attended with my friend Cait from college and her youth group. Wow! I mean, really. WOW! It was spectacular for so many reasons. AHH! Just thinking about it right now makes me so happy! And I start laughing and smiling because God is good! While some of it was a bit strange and I'm not sure what to make of it, a lot of it was beautiful. If you haven't read this note I wrote previously, [http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150702194885083OK] then I would encourage you to read it now :) Anyway, this is probably going to be a just a short list of some of the awesome things that happened but if you really want to know more, please come and talk to me! I could talk about this forever! OK, list time:

1. Cait-I love her. I was describing her to my cousin yesterday, and I said that the beautiful thing about our relationship is not that we're interested in the same things or that we think the same way, but it's that we are completely on the same page spiritually. Completely. It was truly wonderful to spend three days with her, praying and talking and worshiping together. God has blessed me with her and I'm so glad I get to spend college with her!
2. Cait's Youth Group-I've never felt so loved and accepted by a group of people I didn't know at all. Cait told them about me, and they were instantly excited to meet me! As soon as I arrived, they literally flocked to me, telling me they'd heard a lot about me and couldn't wait to meet me. It was so uplifting and encouraging. I'm so sure that God will continue to work and see lives changed in their youth group if they just keep doing what they're doing: loving on everyone they meet.
3. The Worship-In a word...well...I really can't describe in one word, or two, or even twenty. Before I went on this conference, God told me clearly that during these three days, I was to worship Him in spirit and in truth. And oh boy, did I ever! 15,000 or more Christians all crying Jesus's name in one strong voice for an hour. And then do that 5 times in the span of three days. That's why I've lost my voice. I just spent too much time praising God! And I would do it again and again and again if I could! It was so glorious! God's name was truly lifted high. Wow :)
4. The Teaching-Jesus Culture is a revivalist conference and I'll admit, some things I heard said a few things I didn't quite agree with, BUT the Gospel was consistently preached. Almost every time someone got up on that platform to talk to us, it was about putting your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and laying down one's life to follow Him. It was wonderful, to hear the truth of God spoken so many times. And that's one thing I gained from this: I want to know the truth of God and who He is, not how He is portrayed by the world. I want Him as He is.
5. The Prayer Time-I loved praying before I went to this conference, so it was fantastic to be able to pray and be alone with God in worship and then, during the teaching sessions to take my notes in prayer form. I love talking to my Lord, He who listens to everything I say and hears my heart. 
6. What I Learned-God desires all of me, which I already knew but it's something I need to keep learning my entire life. It I truly have a heart to see people come to know Jesus-Isaiah 62:1 is a verse God gave me. I will not be silent. The Holy Spirit in me is personalized to me, because I have a personal relationship with God. I need to keep building my secret history with God, spending time with Him and being quiet before Him. I love to worship God, because He's so good. I think I'm going to spend some time reading the Sermon on the Mount, because there's a ton of really good stuff in there. God is ready for me to go to college! Yay! It was really cool, because during the last worship session I was praying and telling Him that I'm sad and I'm not ready, and immediately, the response was, "Uh, I'm ready!" And I rejoiced and started laughing and crying! If He's ready, then of course I can be ready, even if it's sad and difficult to go! Haha! I'm smiling now. God's awesome.

Tons of other stuff went on during Jesus Culture and it's all so wonderful that I could go on and on, but I don't want to be up all night. The link at the bottom of this page is a clip someone recorded of the worship with Hillsong United if you want to check it out. That was the view pretty much from where I was sitting. It was so great.  Just thinking about it all makes me so filled with joy! Ahh! I know I'm weird, but I don't care :) Jesus loves you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2XPB_liWZY&feature=related

Grr...sick rant

If you've ever come across me when I'm sick, you know that I'm not myself at all. I'm either usually vicious or just completely zoned out. That's because while I'm sick, I'm not a human. I am living on my instincts in a primal state, where anyone who tries to approach me will be angrily yelled at, saracastically berated, or driven away by the force of my extreme apathy. The reason for this is that I hate being sick. Everything about being sick makes me so angry. I hate stuffed up and runny noses. I hate sore throats. I hate headaches and hurting ears. I hate eyes that feel like so swollen that they're gonna pop out of my head. I hate feeling useless and unproductive. I hate having to swallow tons of synthetic chemicals or homeopathic remedies my mother cooks in her teapot, both of which are supposed to make me feel better but never really do. I hate piles of tissues. I hate feeling useless and unproductive. I hate not being able to focus. I hate that even playing the piano, my favorite thing to do, is hard when I'm sick. I hate that I can't taste the lasangna I'm having for dinner. I hate lying in bed not able to sleep because I'm so uncomfortable because I'm sick. I hate being sick so much I make myself more sick by hating sickness so much. So, there are two possible manifestations of all this hate and rage. First, I could just show my anger and be mean to everyone. This usually happens when I'm really tired and sick or sick at an inconvenient time, which is usually all the time.  Second, I could just stop caring because I'm so mad and sit there in a daze. This only happens when I'm really, really sick. All this to say, when I'm sick, please forgive me. I know not what I do. In fact, after I'm done being sick, I will often look back on things I did and apologize, because I know that I was not myself. I had better get better tomorrow.

Musings from New York

I didn't want to go to New York the day after Christmas. I was tired from all the Christmas festivties, I hadn't stayed home during break for 5 years, and I just wanted to be with my friends. But, I'm glad I went to New York for two reasons. First, family is important. Nothing should overshadow that. Second, there are some  things I wanted to think about and it's better if I think about them while I'm away with no outside factors to influence me and fewer distractions. 12 hour drives are really good thinking times :) One of the things I've been thinking about is interfering. Some people, me included, are very perceptive and can analyze their friends and interpret their motives and feelings. I'm not gonna lie, it's fun. However, it's not ok to interfere based on what I interpret. In my opinion, it's ok to see what other people feel and think. But I would never, ever bring up something I see to a friend unless he or she asked me to give my thoughts or advice. I would never, ever try to make something happen before it's supposed to happen. Sometimes, interfering like that can ruin whatever might have happened. It might have been wonderful and amazing. It might have worked out perfectly. But because someone interfered, it won't. It's awkward because now it's an issue of pressure instead of free will. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is: Keep your mouths shut and please don't tell people what they should do with their lives even if you have an idea of what they should do. I know it's tempting, especially when something seems so clear and right, but nothing is ever that simple. Things are always complicated. Also, people like to make decisions based on what they feel, not based on what others say they should do.  If you tell someone what should happen, it lessens the chance of it happening. And someone will get hurt. Like me. That's just one of the things I've been thinking about while in New York.

So, about that New Year's resolution.

I've never made a New Year's resolution before, and I'm not going to start now. No one I know who's made a New Year's resolution has kept it anyway. They just end up regretting the fact that they didn't keep it, and the thing is, I'm done with regrets. Last year was awful. Not all of it was awful, but most of it. The first six months of 2010, I sat around not doing the things I should have done and doing the things I should not have done. The first six months, I waited for life to come to me because I was scared to reach out for it and when it didn't come to me, I got sad, frustrated, then really angry. Then, during the summer,  I sat around regretting everything I'd done and not done during the beginning of the year. Still waiting for life to come to me, during those 3 months I was a mess of regret, anger at God, and self pity. It was indescribably ugly and it was quite enough.
         So, I don't have a resolution for 2011, but I have a wish, actually, a prayer. I pray for no regrets 2011. This is my senior year. I'm mildly ok with looking back on my junior year and thinking, "Wow, that was awful," because honestly, everyone's junior year is awful. I'm not  ok with looking back at my senior year and thinking it was awful because this is it. The last 3 months of 2010, (October, November, December) were the best months of my life because I went out in search of life, leaving my fears with God and spending time with the people I love. Though my regrets from earlier in the year still haunted the back of my mind, I was having too much fun to notice them! I want that to continue throughout next year. I want to do the things I should do and not do the things I shouldn't. I want to live life to the fullest and have no regrets afterwards, or at least, have as few regrets as possible. I don't know how that's all going to work out, but I'm praying it will. The thing about resolutions is, there's no room for God. It's just me working it out on my own, resolved to do something that may or may not be in my human grasp. If I pray, though, it's in God's hands, not mine, and He can do some pretty amazing things. So, Lord, I pray that this year, my actions would glorify you and that I would grow in relationship with you. I pray that I would be a better daughter, sister and friend. And I pray that when next New Years comes around, that I will have no regrets. Amen :)


What's your prayer for 2011?

Buettner Family Scrabble Version 2.0

So, we get out a Scrabble board, form teams, and make up words. No points, no one wins, we all win, because we're making up new words. This is my family. We are awesome. Worship at our feet. If you care to see all the other words we've made up, see my note entitled "Buettner Family Scrabble."

Brermic-proper noun, a beard enhancement cream
Duwai-proper noun, a country off the coast of Arabia
enhala- noun, that rare moment when a person inhales and says hello at the same time
eshalef-noun, Hebrew slang for dirty monkey, used as an insult
EUJA-proper noun, organization, stands for European Union of Jews and Anglicans
EZitma-proper noun, the website for Zitma (see Zitma definition_
fient-adjective, what sweaty feet smell like
flande-verb, cooking a chicken the Flemish way
gofie-1. noun, police slang for a bad con artist, stands for Giving Obviously False Identities Everywhere
        -2. noun, a baby gopher
grisp-noun, a very weak grasp
grye-noun, a disorder in which while crying, instead of sobbing, one makes a grinding noise
igga- noun, a very small igloo
kreng- noun, a Korean style typeface
Krevio-proper noun, a popular East Asian teen drama
lun-noun, a half lunge
nose-verb, to smack your nose against someone as an insult, "She just nosed you!"
osiben-noun, the offspring of an ostrich and a bison
osibent-noun, a baby osiben
oya-slang term, shortening of Oh, Yes.
RETA-proper noun, stands for Really Entertaining Talking Animals, the actors union of popular characters on childrens television programs and movies
Spaq-proper noun, the Shaquille O'Neill sponsored brand of Spanx, a type of hosiery
Spaqi, proper noun, Shaq's Spaqs for kids
textvic-noun, the time when a person is convicted for a crime based on a text message
Toowop-proper noun, a disease in which a person's lips are allergic to each other
UHOD, proper noun, an organization, stands for the United Hobbits of Denmark
walie-noun, a small wall for children, used to keep them from falling down stairs, entering rooms, etc.
yirmin-noun, yeti vermin
Zitma-proper noun, a zit zapper medication for middle aged women with kids

My brain turns on right before I go to bed

And I need to write my thoughts down before I lose them. Tonight, my brain is thinking about years. I think how four years ago right now, I was still in 8th grade with braces and hair down to the middle of my back. I wrote my first song that December, a little one, nothing special. It was a beginning, or rather, the beginning of a beginning and an ending, since I wrote it out of sadness and fear of having to leave the comfort of 8th grade and go into the big scary world of high school, which turned out to be both scary and not as scary as I had imagined it would be.
        I think how three years ago right now, I was still reeling from the excitement and exhaustion that followed Rumors, my first high school play. I had no clue, no clue what I was getting myself into by doing that first show. Heck, I still don't know what I got myself into by trying out for that show. That was another beginning, the beginning of a theatre family that is in some ways closer than my flesh and blood family. It is one of the most confounding and most amazing things God has ever sent my way.
      I think how two years ago right now, I was hiding in a little shell, afraid to come out, a little sophomore who didn't really know what to do. I was focusing on a friendship that didn't last as long as I hoped it would and was very self consumed. It was the beginning of nothing, because I was so entrenched in my bubble of my own insecurities. I don't remember much about this winter. To be perfectly honest, I remember little about sophomore year until March, when I got into the spring play and my theatre family was there again.
     I think how one year ago right now, I was in love and it was so wonderful. I played Belle, Scrooge's girlfriend in A Christmas Carol, and I felt alive and full of holiday joy and love, like Belle was the night she met Scrooge. Everything was beautiful and nothing else mattered. I don't even remember what I got for Christmas last year, except a single text message on Christmas morning while I was eating breakfast at my grandma's house. It was the beginning of a terrible 7 months of heartache and anger at God,  culminating in a terrible summer in which I writhed in the hell fires of self pity and regret. Also, last December, I hugged my Opa goodbye for the last time. But, good came out of the craziness.
      I think how this year right now, I am me. I am the most myself I have ever been in my life. I was just in my last comedy at SHS, which makes me a little melancholy, but I still have my theatre family by my side, making me laugh all the time and teaching me to trust friendships again. My church family surrounds me with encouragement and prayer, and of course my flesh and blood family gives me more love than I deserve every day. I am 18, going on the rest of my life, looking forward to going to college next year, wherever that is. God and I (mostly God) are still working out the ginormous kinks in our relationship caused by last year's angst and it'll take time, because I was mad for a long time. Thank goodness for God's patience with me and my learning heart. I'm sufficiently tired now, all my thoughts out of my head. Time to sleep.